Speaking Up
by Iplaythefrenchhornlovetwilight
Summary: some insomnia late night drabbling/ plot mosnters. Bella speaks up for herself. AU from bedroom scene in Volterra. Will Edward's lack of concern for Bella's own thoughts about changing finally ruin everything? Summary sucks... literally. take a peek. :P
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Alrighty., this is one of those late night drabbles that wont make any grammatical sense to me when I reread it tomorrow morning xD. It's pretty much just Bella arguing for herself after Edward tells her she wont be changed. This is towards the end of the return from Volterra bedroom scene. Again… though I kinda want to continue with this one… it's late so go easy on me.

Oh the T is only for some language and Stephenie Meyer owns all of this Twilight stuff… I'm only adding some angst xD.

xxxxxxxxxxxx EPOV

"And these... plans," she seethed "These plans all centre around me staying _human_."

I glared, nor wanting to stay on this course of conversation. "Naturally." Why couldn't she see that this wasn't right for her? Her _soul _was at stake. She shouldn't waste it for an eternity with me. It… I certainly am not worth it.

I watched slightly shocked as she pushed my arms away and jumped out of bed. I tried to hide the shock and pain from my features.

"How dare you," she sputtered. "When the _hell_ did you decide that you had control over my life?" I blinked in confusion. This wasn't where I thought the conversation would turn. Arguments about aging had turned to relationship

and control issues. I wasn't sure where an when to cut in. "You made it perfectly clear that you wanted nothing to do with me! Now you think you can make my decisions for me?" Beyond the guilt that consumed me, came the feeling

that I was really loosing her. I'd finally succeeded in pushing her away… but we could work this out! We had to! She _loved_ me! She said she did!

"Please Bella! I was trying to do what's best for you. I love you! Please! You do not under…"

"No! _You_ don't understand!" She angrily cut me off "You think leaving was the best decision for me? I don't know what untimely wisdom you think you possess but keep your damn mouth shut! Ask any of my friends! Even _Lauren_

could argue that what you did didn't make any damn sense! You have no clue what you're talking about!" I wasn't sure what to say, she'd never spoken to me in this tone of voice before. I had to reason with her. I just got her back… I

couldn't lose her again to a misunderstanding or problems dealing with pride! I couldn't clear my head. This was all too much. Too many emotions running through both our heads at once.

"Bella I…" I tried to continue.

"Just leave, please." Her forlorn tone sharply contrasted her previous words. I wanted to pull her to me and comfort her in the only way I knew how. But I'm sure that would have only made things worse… "until you realize that I'm not

your plaything, not an object you can control, please leave. I'm my own person… I'm capable of deciding for myself… please understand." I could tell that she was barely holding herself together and that she wouldn't want me to watch

her break down. I gently grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckle.

"I'm only a phone call away when you want me back." I whispered. She nodded curtly and laid her head back on the pillow and shut her eyes. A single tear traced a jagged path down her face as I climbed back out the window. As I shut

the glass, a sob escaped her lips. Followed by one more, and then another. I couldn't bring my self to leave so I leaned against the base of her house and listened to her hitched breathing that faded away as she eventually fell asleep.

I'm not sure how much time passed but I was alerted by the sound of approaching footsteps. A warning growl slipped between my teeth as I listened for the thoughts of the incoming intruder.

_ Relax Edward. It's just me._ Alice's unusually strained thoughts rang through my head as she sat herself down beside me. _I'm sorry but you deserved every word. I would have warned you, but you needed to hear this from her and_

_ not me. You _have _been to controlling in her life, Edward. This, _she gestured between the two of us, _can be dangerous for her. We know that. She knows it too. She still loves you unconditionally and you can't throw that away in sixty_

_ years because you're afraid. She is going to be changed as long as it is what _she _wants._

"If she still wants this," I whispered brokenly. My eyes pricked and the venom clouded my vision, but no tears fell.

_ Give her time, Edward. At this point, I'm not certain what the future will bring. She may choose you or… _she suppressed a vision in her head of something. I couldn't be sure of exactly what it was but I assumed it had to do with

Bella's future. Bella was wavering between whether or not to stay with me. She could leave me. Just like I left her…

_ Edward snap out of it! Give her space. Show her that you do appreciate her rights as an adult and that you trust her decision-making. If you don't stay that overprotective oaf that you have been, she may take you back!_

Alice smiled kindly, stood up and offered me her hand. "Bella is going to wake up in an hour and I don't think she'd be thrilled to see that you were still here." I nodded and collapsed into her, attempting to hold back a sob. "It'll be ok,

Edward," she soothed. "Either way, we will get you through this." I nodded and spared one more glance at Bella's window before taking off back to the mansion.

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A/N: So what do you guys think? I'm not the best story teller but I was rereading New Moon and I have some strong feelings toward Bella's lack of ability to stand up for herself… though I would probably end up doing the same thing xD. Anywayz, this is what I would say if given the opportunity to rewrite Bella's actions for this part of the story.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This chapter will be a little weird. Thanks for those of you who are still interested (I promise not to take so long to update as long as I can get more reviews hehe)

"Jesus Christ, Edward, I don't think the rest of us can take anymore of your angst!" Rosalie fumed. She had been waiting for me by the front door with a scowl on her face. "I don't even _like _the girl and I knew how she'd react to your control-freak ass!"

A hiss slithered through my teeth. How _dare_ she taunt my relationship when she had been the one to nearly end it once and for all! Maybe she needed a reminder. "Maybe your tenacity is clouding your memory, because, as I recall, it's YOUR fault that I'm back here! Instead of allowing me to come back on my own terms, you had to intervene and force a reunion!" By now I was inches from her face, my vision tinted with red. Emmett wouldn't be around to stop me from ripping her limb from limb.

A smug, know-it-all expression curved her mouth upwards. "If you _really_ don't want to be here, why don't you crawl back under that rock again? Bella is better off without you, anyways." This stopped me dead in my tracks. Wasn't that the reason I had left Bella in the first place? The first time I saw her after I left she almost became dinner. Rosalie was right… she may be a complete ass, but she had a point. I doubted Bella's capacity to forgive me. Maybe she really would let go this time…

Alice burst through the doors of the mansion and pounced on top of me, knocking me off guard.

"You idiot!" she was almost crying. "Didn't you learn this the first time? You can't leave!" Alice was pounding her fists into my chest with surprising force. It didn't hurt, of course, but her size always threw me off guard. They still didn't understand. Bella had the wolves for protection and as long as she stayed away from them, there was no chance of her getting hurt. I would have to make sure of that before I left.

I could feel the void creeping back into my mind. It was Déjà vu, only, there was no spider-filled attic… yet. Rosalie's apologetic voice startled me. Seriously, when was Rosalie ever apologetic? "Edward, please don't go again. I was just trying to annoy you, really, neither of you deserve to go through this again." Her voice stayed soothing throughout and frankly, it really pissed me off. She had Emmett. Hardheaded, unbreakable Emmett. She would never understand the heart-breaking decision I was forced to make.

"_Dammit_, Carlisle! The vision wont change! He's still trying to leave again. After that can't see either of them! Beat some sense into him! I can't watch Bella go through this again, _please!_" When had Carlisle gotten here? I guess I was distracted.

His resigned voice filled the room. "Edward, I cant do anything to stop you." His eyes grew intense. "But Bella is a part of this family. Just as much as you are. The rest of us will be here for support should she ever need it. If she still wants to be turned after this, I will do it for her." He cooled down and came to put a hand on my shoulder.

My eyes grew livid. "You cant! If anyone is to damn her soul, it will be _my _decision. But that will never happen so don't even consider doing that heinous crime!" I growled and pushed Carlisle away from me. He fell into the piano, splitting it in half.

The room fell silent.

Shame flooded through my entire being. "Sorry," I choked and turned to leave.

_I hate you!_ Alice's expletives spewed from her mind and died down as I escaped from hearing range. Before I was able to truly comprehend what I had to do, I was back on the tree next to Bella's window. The sun had yet to rise and Charlie's snores still resonated throughout the house. Bella was still awake. I took in her expression before sneaking in.

-BPOV-

It had felt both wrong and yet strangely empowering to kick Edward from my bedroom. I may have just eliminated him from my life entirely and the though terrified me. Still, when he talked about me like a child, I felt helpless and insignificant.

The leaves rustled unnaturally outside, and I wasn't alone.

A/N: Soooo is Edward gonna leave or what? The only way to find out is to review ;-)


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